Weary of Withholding

June 22, 2025
Have you ever felt like God has tricked you? Like the promises you were given about faith and purpose have somehow morphed into pain and confusion? You're not alone. Even the great prophets of old wrestled with these very same feelings.

Consider Jeremiah, often called the "weeping prophet." His story begins with an incredible calling - God telling him, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." What an amazing start! But fast forward, and we find Jeremiah lamenting, "You deceived me, Lord, and I was deceived; you overpowered me and prevailed. I am ridiculed all day long; everyone mocks me."

What happened between that initial calling and this bitter accusation? Life. Reality. The hard work of living out a divine purpose in a broken world. Jeremiah spent 40 years prophesying about and living through the destruction of his nation. He faced ridicule, isolation, and heartache. The glorious calling he received came with a heavy cost he hadn't anticipated.

Many of us can relate. We start our faith journey full of hope and excitement, only to encounter struggles, unanswered prayers, and complexities that make us question everything. We might feel betrayed, wondering if we were sold a false bill of goods about what following God would mean for our lives.

But here's a perspective shift to consider: What if those moments of disillusionment aren't a sign that God has tricked us, but rather an invitation to go deeper? What if the disappointment is actually a doorway to knowing God more intimately?

Think about it like this: When we're young in our faith (or young in general), we're given simple, digestible truths. Like how the story of Noah's Ark is often presented as a cute tale about animals on a boat and God's rainbow promise. But as we mature, we start to wrestle with the harder aspects of that story - the judgment, the loss of life. It can feel jarring, like we've been lied to.

But we weren't lied to; we were given a layer. A foundation. And now God is inviting us to dig deeper, to wrestle with the complexities of His character and His ways. It's not unlike how light behaves in physics - from one perspective, it's a wave, beautiful and flowing. But look closer, and you see individual particles with substance and weight. Our understanding of God often follows a similar pattern.

This process of going deeper can be painful. It might feel like betrayal at first. But being forced to reckon with your faith is often an invitation to grow. Remember, even the name "Israel" means "one who wrestles with God." This struggle isn't a flaw in our faith; it's a feature.

The beautiful thing about serving a living God is that when you push against Him, He pushes back. Not to harm you, but to engage with you. When you question Him, He questions you back, like He did with Job. It's a scary place to be, but it's also exhilarating. Because it means you're dealing with Someone real, Someone who cares enough to wrestle with you, even if it leaves you with a limp like Jacob.

This brings us back to Jeremiah. Despite his struggles and attempts to quit, he found that God's word was "in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot." Jeremiah discovered that it was more painful to resist God's call than to embrace it, even with all its difficulties.

Many of us might be in a similar place. We've been resisting a conviction, a calling, a change God wants to make in our lives. We think we're burnt out from trying to be obedient, but in reality, we're exhausted from withholding what God is trying to do through us.

There's a cost to following God's call, absolutely. But there's an even greater cost in resisting it. It's like the character in the movie "Liar Liar" who is magically forced to tell the truth for 24 hours. At first, it causes chaos in his life. But eventually, he discovers that embracing the truth, while painful at times, ultimately brings freedom and healing.

The same is true for us. Being faithful to the fire God has placed within us will involve sacrifice. It might strain relationships or require difficult changes. But the alternative - suppressing that fire - is ultimately more exhausting and damaging to our souls.

Here's the incredible thing: when we finally stop resisting and allow God's fire to speak through us, we often find a deeper, more profound truth waiting on the other side of our pain. Look at Jeremiah. The same prophet who spent chapters declaring God's judgment on Israel was eventually able to proclaim one of the most hope-filled promises in Scripture:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)

These weren't contradictions. This was the fullness of God's truth coming through a yielded vessel.

Some might say this promise was only for ancient Israel in exile. But aren't we all, in a sense, people in exile? Since humanity's fall in Eden, we've been longing to return to that perfect communion with God. And His promise of hope and a future extends to all of us who feel lost and far from home.

This doesn't mean following God will always be easy or pain-free. But it does mean that there's a greater purpose, a deeper hope on the horizon if we're willing to push through the difficult seasons.

Wherever you are in your journey - whether you're still in the "milk and honey" stage of faith or deep in the trenches of doubt and disillusionment - know that God isn't finished with you yet. He wants to lead you to a place of greater hope and a more profound future.

The fire of God's truth within us tells hard truths. It causes us to grieve and weep at times. But it also brings unshakable hope. Even in our moments of exile and pain, God is not done with us. He's inviting us to stop resisting, to let that fire out, and to discover the freedom and purpose that comes when we fully yield to His call.

What fire is burning within you today? What truth or calling have you been resisting? Perhaps it's time to stop holding it in and allow God to fan those flames into the fullness of His purpose for your life.

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